What a week.
If you follow me on Twitter, you might already be aware of my work related troubles and the anxiety I have been feeling as a result. Writing about Mental Health isn’t something I planned to express as part of my blog goal but, it’s an important topic to be open about and something I personally have always struggled with.
Anxiety is something I thought I had overcome in almost every way until recently when I decided to change my career path. I left a comfortable job as a receptionist, where I was doing well, had great relationships with all of my colleagues and clients but, I sacked it in because I was feeling unchallenged.
What an Idiot I feel now!
The funny thing is, you just don’t know how you’re going to feel until you’ve taken that leap of faith. I had lots of confidence that I was doing the right thing but I was naturally nervous.
Now, I’m totally unsure of myself and wondering if/when this feeling will subside. Everything I thought I would feel I’m not and anxiousness has taken over my thoughts entirely.
I wanted an easier life, the same if not more pay with more time off and to feel less stressed. Everything we all aspire to in achive in our working lives no doubt. I wanted the chance to have days off in the week where I could write, learn to drive, see my loved ones and, I wanted the opportunity to progress because it wasn’t going to happen for me in my previous job.
I didn’t really think at all about the weekends I’d be sacrificing and the amount of ‘me’ time I’d spend just exhausted from working 12 hours shifts. I suppose, I got caught up in all of the excitement and upset of leaving my beloved old work colleagues and actually hadn’t thought about the new job much until my first day last Tuesday. On the days off I’ve had so far, all I’ve done is worry and contemplate possibly the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.
Also, I’ve been reading the Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight, which I would highly recommend to anyone looking to de-clutter their life and get everything in order. The book has helped me to gain perspective on so many things e.g. my relationships and goals moving forward in 2018. But, when it comes to starting a new job, I’m not sure how much of Sarah Knight’s attitude I can take on board.
Nervousness is bound to happen to anyone when starting a new job but not at the level I’m experiencing. According to my Fitbit (which I rely on for everything) my resting bpm is 86, which is a little higher than it should be but that’s because I’m a little bit bigger than my 2016 self. However, when I’m at work and not carrying out any psychical exercise my bpm can go as high as 102, which is concerning. I can feel that I’m uneasy and begin to feel nauseous and/or tired. This needs to change.
I can and I will overcome this.
I know Meditation isn’t my thing but, maybe I should take up Yoga again? I did enjoy it the one and only time I went to a class with my mum.
I’m adding another 2018 NY resolution to overcome anxiety AGAIN.
If anyone might be able to help or share their own personal experiences, I’d really like to know the following…
- What do you do to stay calm?
- Do you find work stressful on your mental wellbeing and how do you overcome this when you get home?
- How do you make time for your loved ones when you have conflicting work schedules?