We’re forever changing and becoming more ourselves as we grow older and, constantly I’m surprising myself with how strong and capable I really can be when overcoming an obstacle blocking my vision.
To me, strength is all emotional. You can be psychically fit, healthy and strong, which is great of course but, what about your emotional agility?
Emotional agility is all about understanding the way you go about everyday, your thoughts, core values, motivations and habits, which is similar to self awareness in that you have an understanding of your own character.
After years of feeling lost, endlessly nervous and full of worry about the future, I’ve now learnt to love and embrace my emotions. I acknowledge that I’m anxious, emotional and need structure. But, I’m also incredibly caring, supportive and resourceful.
Self awareness or emotional agility is something that keeps growing as you develop new memories and experiences though, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re still discovering the person you are because, well, we all still are!
In order to truly know your character these are some basic things we can consider asking…
Why do we behave in a certain way?
Why do we love, care for and prioritise certain things more than others?
What are our values and what’s important to you?
AND, most importantly, we all need to remember that although our opinions are important they might not always shared with others. We must have empathy and reasoning.
This leads me on to what I know and am still learning about myself.
As said before, I have anxiety. It’ll always be a part of who I am and although it drives me and my loved ones insane from time to time, it’s not going anywhere and it’s manageable now. I’m aware that I panic, become frustrated and sometimes avoid uncomfortable situations because of my anxiety, which means I spend a lot of time apologizing when I’m in a brighter mood.
I also believe that we don’t truly understand our capabilities until we are challenged in some way, big or small.
Personally, I truly started to learn my strength after losing a loved one. Although, our relationship wasn’t close my dads loss was still a significant event in my life that enabled me to grow. His loss devastated me but, because of him I sought counselling for anxiety that I had always experienced but was hightened when he passed away during my final year at University. And, because of him, I was also able to deal with the passing of my nan last year and support my mum through her grief.
I also know that, after losing loved ones I became a more empathetic person. The caring nature has always been in me but, I never knew that I could look after, support and care in my current job and personal life in the ways that I now do.
I’m constantly learning about who I am and although, life isn’t always easy, I know how to find ways to cope and manage my feelings so that my days aren’t ruined anymore.
In brief, alongside discovering who I am in terms of emotions and characteristics, I’m also learning to understand my values. For example, realising that it’s important for me to support local businesses and buy locally sourced food whenever possible, hence my recent love for Gousto.
All in all, I recognize my thought processes, know my strengths and what’s important to me to maintain a happy healthy lifestyle.
I’m my own best friend and I think we all need to focus more on our strengths instead of what we perceive are our weaknesses.
Loss in my life has given me strength, finding love has given me confidence and creating a home has given me hope.