For just under a year now I’ve had a lot of time to myself, choosing to work only 3 days a week. With the other half of my time I’ve been meeting my mum for coffee, spending lots of time alone and only meeting my friends about once or twice a month.
I’ve been calling my alone time ‘self care’ but have I really been looking after myself and have there really been any benefits?
I’m not entirely sure.
I think I was lying to myself a little bit.
This time last year I was at a real low with my job and needed a break so, reducing my hours and trying something new was necessary. But, after a couple of months I’d recovered from the trauma that was my last 9-5 job and continued spending a lot of time home alone with no attempt to do anything else but sit on the sofa.
I love my own company and that’s okay but, sometimes I think I got carried away and maybe a little selfish.
There have been many productive days spent alone but there might have been more real lazy days if I’m honest with myself. Days where getting out of bed was difficult, days where I didn’t get dressed, eat breakfast or do anything productive at all.
Some of those down days I needed but it’s unhealthy to choose to be anti social too and I can’t blame it all on mental health, when I actually feel the best I have in years!
What I’m trying to say is that, I could have made an attempt to read the pile of books that are currently sat on my bedside table eagerly waiting for me. I could have worked out and rummaged through my wardrobe to find my yoga mat. I could have made more cakes and perfected my love of baking. I could have gone on more solo day trips and I could have explored my hometown more.
Instead, I took a lot of bubble baths, ate a lot of oven pizzas for lunch, took lots of afternoon naps, ordered a lot of food online, avoided meeting up with friends and spent a lot of hours binge watching Netflix.
The plus side is that I finished watching Friends (twice over), Shameless US, The Good Wife, Mad Men, Making of a Murderer and The Staircase to name a few. I also found a love for Apple Music and made numerous playlists for every mood.
I’ve had the best and worst time in my own company I think it’s safe to say. I feel like I’ve achieved a lot but also nothing at all or, at least, nothing of significance and that’s what’s frustrating.
My year of ‘me’ days comes to an end now though and it’s time to return to the 9-5 life, which I’m equally excited and nervous about.
I’m back to sharing weekends with my boyfriend and being on the same schedule as him which is something I look forward to. We’ll hopefully be able to go on lots of days trips and weekends away which we’ve really missed out on last year. We already have a couple things planned through March and April, hopefully going away for our 3 year anniversary and attending a wedding in Kent too.
I’m also greatly looking forward to being home more during the evenings, being able to cook dinner at a normal time and chill out with my no1 without falling asleep in his lap.
So goodbye to enjoying solitude too frequently, with the option to do anything in the world yet, choosing to do nothing at all and, hello to appreciating my weekends again.