What started off as a productive Monday home alone has slowed right down.
Currently slumped on the sofa and under a blanket watching Wine Country and feeling really quite sorry for myself.
I suppose, I’m quite the overthinker. You might say I’m renowned for it.
I’ve pushed a lot of things to one side of my brain because I simply have too many tabs open! In fact, it appears I have quite a lot of anxious thoughts and unfinished conversations saved in my favorites too. Some constantly replaying in the background.
Seriously, just when things are calm and I’m peaceful at home, that’s when my brain begins to scramble and all of those tabs open in separate windows simultaneously.
It’s very stressful to be in my head.
Regardless of how shitty I might currently feel I’m watching an all female movie and I’m loving it so far. Which leads me to the things I actually wanted to write about.
I started writing something that felt all too miserable and quite frankly boring. I thought about writing about all of those tabs I’d mentioned but that felt like quite a stressful task in itself. Then, I suddenly remember the ethos of my blog!
I mean, seriously! How could I forget that my blog is supposed to be an uplifting place for me to explore and reflect. So, I’m cheering myself up and writing about what makes me who I am. The good and the bad.
Well, 7 things in total anyway.
I think you guys should try this exercise too…
- My creative brain. I’m not an artist, I can’t draw and I can’t play any instruments. In fact I’m quite clumsy but, I love my brain. I can visualize a space and create an entire world in my head. I can design and put those images perfectly into action through reorganizing my home for example or creating an entire world playing City Skylines (a game I’m always obsessed with but often struggle with).
- Organization and level of punctuality. When it comes to an important task whether in my personal life or at work I’m a pro at prioritizing someone’s particular needs. If you want me I’m there and I’m probably early too. I hate being late and feeling rushed. My life goal is centered around maintaining a level of calm.
- Care-free attitude. By this I mean in terms of my appearance for the most part. I care an awful lot about a lot of things and sometimes I entirely overthink my appearance but, I’ve also reached a point now where I’m happy with my body. In an ideal world I’d be psychically fitter and slimmer but, I also know that I wasn’t meant to spend my life worrying about my appearance. I’ll leave the house in basically pajamas sometimes and I’ll go to work without makeup on too. That’s all okay because appearance isn’t everything. Being an upstanding individual is what matters. I know this sounds like such a small issue in the grand scheme of things but, I still know so many women who are afraid to do the same. Constantly wearing makeup and trying to impress other people 24/7 must be hard work and I certainly couldn’t do it / wouldn’t even attempt to.
- My Anxiety. My God am I highly strung. I hate feeling stuck in my head sometimes. I’ve always had anxiety but I reached my breaking point at University and sought counseling as a result. I still have moments of self doubt now and days where I hide away but, for the most part I’m on top of things. I’m confident in who I am and understand what makes me tick. I’m happy to talk about my experience and don’t shy aware from the subject.
- Baking abilities. I have this strange ability to bake really ugly cakes but that still somehow taste delicious. I’m a pro at chocolate buttercream and vanilla sponge but damn my cakes are unattractive.
- Loving alone time. I’m an introvert through and through. I love being social but, I also love my own company and thrive off of down time. If I need some time to myself I’m not afraid to say it and recharging my batteries is high on my priority list. Although, I must admit at times I might have become carried away or a little selfish and, as a result I managed to isolate myself from an entire friend group. We’re all good now though!!
- Level headedness. Okay, my boyfriend doesn’t believe that for one moment I could be considered level headed but, I disagree. In fact, his sister and mine have both called me this on more than one occasion thank you very much. I know I’m easily pissed off sometimes and I’m not afraid to show it but I will always give clear and non bias advice when approached. In an emergency I’m there and I will help in whatever way I possibly can. In fact acting rationally in an emergency is part of my current job and I love it.
There we have it.
7 simple bullet points later and I’m feeling good again.
Sitting and writing about this kind of stuff is really cathartic for me and I hope it is for you guys too. My mood is instantly lifted once my brain starts thinking in this way whilst my fingers begin to tap furiously on the keyboard. Just like that, an hour has passed and it’s time to cook dinner.